From my early years where religion was an overpowering influence on my life I have struggled to come to terms with who I am. I have tended to find the negative in most aspects of my life but with age I feel I am learning to be more accepting of myself. I am beginning to look more positively to the future and appreciate what each day brings.
This is somewhat of a deepish post but I am acutely aware of time passing me by and the need to not waste my time on the trivial and unimportant.
I am grateful for my loved ones and the wonderful experiences and opportunities I have had.
I have been fortunate to have a healthy life and have enjoyed the successes that sport has brought me.
I am thankful to have been brought up with music that has stayed with me all my life. I have been thrilled to have discovered in me an ability to share my world with others in poetry and song.
Below is a poem that I wrote 10 years ago that tells of my struggles in the past. I am happy that these thoughts are becoming more distant and rare as I move towards a positive future.
Insecure Boy
Brought up with true
values...filtrating the mind
Guided by
righteous...the holy sublime
We are the chosen
for leading mankind
In ways of true
knowledge...the needy to find
Chorus
Insecure
boy...wanting to please
Morally
driven...time on your knees
Destined for
greatness...truly faithful
Dedicated...obstinate...cemented
in will
Semblance of order
directs and protects
No nonsense
approach...what pathways are next
Plans are proceeding
by powers above
Infinite
wisdom...abounding in love
Chorus
The mighty have
fallen...the meek to grow strong
As body and soul
healed from all wrong
A channel that's
empty is filled to the brim
Come one and
all...you listen to him
Chorus
The oak tree's now
cut down...forests laid low
Though new shoots
are sprouting...beginning to grow
The once solid
timber built up years back
The blows of the axe
so sharply did crack
Chorus
Paul,
ReplyDeleteYou write very openly and movingly of your struggles in life. Maybe this is one reason that you have moved on from that, do you think?
Remember the song "Drift Away"?
Keep writing, your words...your music.
"Give me the beat, boy, that frees my soul"
With so much to be grateful for I feel your future will be a smooth one. Try not to dwell on past issues, think ahead to beautiful things and enjoy the many years which have yet to be met. I am reminded of the song 'Count your blessings while you may.' Loved the poem, Paul. You have such a talent, much of it still unheard methinks.
ReplyDeleteI know where you are coming from Paul when you say you are trying to think more positively as time goes by.
ReplyDeleteThis is a lovely well written post.
PS I thought I was following you only to discover I'm not. I've fixed that now though :))
ReplyDeleteIf I dwelt on the past I'd be bitter and hateful for things done wrongly to me and the cruelties I received due to the times I grew up in where illegitimate children were shunned. I'm so glad times are changing and so have I. Embrace each new day with a song in your mind and in your heart and thankfulness will fill your being. In Loving Friendship always!
ReplyDelete